What Do You Feel About Me?
18 May
Posted by joannareyburn
in Confident in Love, Encouragement, Hear God's Voice, Key of David, prophetic worship
I'm sitting at the kitchen table after a long day. Austin, my 4 month-old puppy has brought out of his basket almost every toy he has. He's currently running around making quite a racket with his empty 2-liter bottle. Beside me, his stuffed quacker duck on one side, a firewood log turned chew toy on the other. Despite my living room turned giant playpen, he such a good puppy and I'm grateful.
More about Austin here>>
Background music is the prayer room, but not-so-live: I'm recording some parts of my devo from Saturday and marveling at the provision of the Lord. Saturday, I played a two-hour solo devo at the prayer room at IHOP. At the time, I was so moved in my heart watching other people being ministered to, knowing that this was just for them. "Oh those people crying! So great."
...One day later, I felt SO discouraged. You know that all-around discouraged day where you're target practice for the accuser, but you don't recognize it as accusation? Those days where you wonder if you've missed your destiny in the Lord, and now you're stuck with "less than" for the rest of your life? Where you feel kinda sapped of the passion you feel like you once had for the Lord, and wonder if you're wandering around in circles? I'm sure I don't need to describe the voice of the accuser, but it sounds like "not good enough, too weak, a failure, no future, missed it, disqualified, etc etc." Add in some self-pity and you've partnered to get yourself in a real pickle. Where that's where I was; pickling.
I have noticed, and I must remember this for the future, that in times like this it's usually hard for me to hear the Lord. But it's not because I'm disqualified from hearing His voice, but because I'm too preoccupied, condemned, self-centered, or discouraged to actually take time and listen. Well the Lord was gracious, and spoke rather loudly. Remember that set on Saturday? You thought it was for all those other people, but it's for you today. I knew that you would need encouragement. Why don't you go back and listen to it, and know that it's my heart for you.
Wherever you're at right now, I encourage you to set aside some quite time to be with the Lord and ask Him "What do you feel about me? Talk to me about Your future for my life. Open up my eyes, show me a way out of the wilderness. Where are my doors of hope Lord?" If it helps, download this 30-minute portion of my set and let the Lord encourage you today.
More about Austin here>>
Background music is the prayer room, but not-so-live: I'm recording some parts of my devo from Saturday and marveling at the provision of the Lord. Saturday, I played a two-hour solo devo at the prayer room at IHOP. At the time, I was so moved in my heart watching other people being ministered to, knowing that this was just for them. "Oh those people crying! So great."
...One day later, I felt SO discouraged. You know that all-around discouraged day where you're target practice for the accuser, but you don't recognize it as accusation? Those days where you wonder if you've missed your destiny in the Lord, and now you're stuck with "less than" for the rest of your life? Where you feel kinda sapped of the passion you feel like you once had for the Lord, and wonder if you're wandering around in circles? I'm sure I don't need to describe the voice of the accuser, but it sounds like "not good enough, too weak, a failure, no future, missed it, disqualified, etc etc." Add in some self-pity and you've partnered to get yourself in a real pickle. Where that's where I was; pickling.
I have noticed, and I must remember this for the future, that in times like this it's usually hard for me to hear the Lord. But it's not because I'm disqualified from hearing His voice, but because I'm too preoccupied, condemned, self-centered, or discouraged to actually take time and listen. Well the Lord was gracious, and spoke rather loudly. Remember that set on Saturday? You thought it was for all those other people, but it's for you today. I knew that you would need encouragement. Why don't you go back and listen to it, and know that it's my heart for you.
My sheep will hear my voice.He is simply so gracious to meet us where we are, and let us know that we don't have to stay there. He will open to us a door of hope in the wilderness. The whole secret of David, his Isaiah 22:22 key was an unwavering confidence in God's heart for him. Despite seasons of victory and failure, David knew that who He was before the Lord was not contingent upon those circumstances. He saw through the veil to a day when we would be hidden in Christ.
You will know me.
Be of good cheer, my eyes are on you.
Be of good cheer, my heart is for you.
I've seen your weakness and I know your pain
I've seen your journey, every step of the way
Just know that I am with you
You I will not forsake
You make me glad, right where you're at
I'm rejoicing over you.
When all you can see if your weakness
When all you can feel if your pain
When all you know is your struggles
but you say yes to me anyway,
You make me glad.
Wherever you're at right now, I encourage you to set aside some quite time to be with the Lord and ask Him "What do you feel about me? Talk to me about Your future for my life. Open up my eyes, show me a way out of the wilderness. Where are my doors of hope Lord?" If it helps, download this 30-minute portion of my set and let the Lord encourage you today.
Comments
AWESOME!
I greatly appreciate your
I greatly appreciate your heart, and so often I feel the feeling you've described here. Thank you for being vulnerable. You blessed and encouraged me today. Bless you.
Thank you for this word of
Thank you for this word of encouragement! It so ministered to me this morning. I've soaked through your music twice now and feel lighter from being in the presence of God! Amazing how that happens :-)
from another worshipper
Thank you, earlier today I felt down and I couldn't explain it to even myself, except that the box I have put around myself because of so-called opinions had to be cut away. After reading your blog, I felt relieved that someone else shares my feelings! I'm not alone. There's something to this calling and the preparation time in the wilderness and it's good to hear you share that.
so true
I loved what the Lord said to about listening to your own devo. i have found that the words recorded from my own mouth are not only the most convicting but the most encouraging in the time of accusation.
allison
Key of David
Joanna this is right on. The last few weeks have been really tuff for me emotionally for all the reasons you mentioned above. And a little over a week ago I was sitting in Bethel during The Watch of the Lord(a devotional prayer room set) and the Lord dropped Isaiah 22:22 in my heart so strong. He talked to me about many things but one thing I realized about that Key of David that rests our shoulders is just that. It's the ONLY thing that's allowed to rest on our shoulders. No weight, distractions, fear, depression, is allowed to weigh me down except the yoke of Christ. Thank You for this. I LOVE IT!
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